Shattered
by EmilyLovesAlison
Summary: Emily and her friends have started senior year at Rosewood, but with the resurfacing of Alison DiLaurentis in her life, Emily realises that this year isn't gonna go anything how she hoped it would. Emison.
1. I Hate You

_"Ali, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" Hanna asks completely baffled._

_"I'm not acting like anything, Hanna. I never want to see any of you again. Don't call me, don't text me, forget about me."_

_Emily stands completely dumb founded with Aria, Spencer, and Hanna._

_"What did we ever do to you, Alison?" Aria questions agitatedly._

_Alison glares at the group of girls in front of her. They look hurt and confused. _

_"Fine. Whatever. Nobody needs you anyway." Spencer says, "Let's go guys. Let's leave this miserable bitch to her…. whatever it is she's dumping us for."_

_Hanna, Aria, and Spencer turn around and start back to Spencer's barn. Emily stays._

_"Please, Ali. Tell me what's going on. What did we do? We're sorry. I'm sorry, Ali. We didn't mean to do whatever it was that's made you angry. I-I can fix it, just please…. Don't do this. Please…" Emily stammers trying to hold back her tears._

_Alison's persona remains static and unemotionally._

_"Go, Emily. Go now! I don't ever want to see you.. or the others again."_

_"But, Ali…" Emily is cut off by words she'd never thought she'd here from Alison._

_"I hate you."_

_And with that Alison turns around and disappears into her house leaving Emily standing in her front yard, bawling her eyes out. _


	2. So We Meet Again

"Can you guys believe it? Senior year.. It's the beginning of the end of hell!" Hanna giggles as her and her 3 best friends make their way into Rosewood High.

"Guys, we have to make the best of this year."

"Oh trust, I will make sure that this year is anything but boring." Hanna says with a devious smile on her face.

"Oh no… We are guaranteed to be drunk for at least two thirds of each semester."

The bell rings for the start of first period.

"Bye guys. We'll meet up for lunch for an update on the day?" Emily asks.

"Don't we always?"

They al say in unison before heading in the directions of their respective classrooms. Emily walks into her first class. The desks are set in pairs. She takes the first seat she sees.

"Okay, class," Mr. Gordon exclaims as the tardy bell finishes ringing, "Don't get too comfortable because….. You have assigned seats! The person you sit with is going to be your lab partner for the remainder of the year.

Emily couldn't help but roll her eyes. She zones out as the teacher starts rambling of names.

"Emily Fields and… Alison DiLaurentis.." Mr. Gordon calls out, but Emily's attention is preoccupied outside.

"Hey.. Emily," Mona nudges her.

"Yeah?"

"Your seat… It's back there."

Emily stands up and moves to the empty set towards the back of the room. Class progress relatively slowly as the chem teacher rambles on and on and on about lab safety until he is interrupted when someone walks into the classroom, but it goes unnoticed by Emily. Seconds later the girls makes her way to the vacant seat. Emily is broken from her trans when she feels and elbow gently graze her side.

"Hi, I'm your lab partner, Emi…" Emily is lost for words as she turns and realises that her lab partner is Alison DiLaurentis.

Alison looks up to meet Emily's unreadable stare. Several uncomfortable seconds go by before Alison looks back down at the desk to break the awkward stare.

"Uh.. Hi… A-Alison." is all Emily can say.

Alison fiddles with the binding of her spiral notebook for a short while before she finally acknowledges Emily. "Hey… Emily." she says with a nod in Emily's direction.

"Now, to get acquainted with your lab partners, we're doing a getting to know you activity." Emily can't help but groan at the assignment. "I need one person from each pairing to come get the question sheet."

"I'll get them." Emily jumps up as fast as she can and rushes to the front of the classroom. While she's waiting her turn in line she fidgets with the zipper on her jacket as she tries to think about the situation.

_What the hell am I gonna do? I can't work with her. She hates me. We haven't talked in over 2 years! I can't do this. I need a new partner._

When she reaches Mr. Gordon's desk she wastes no time. "Can I have another partner please?"

"Uh… you haven't even been working with her for 5 minutes. What did she do?" he questions slightly agitated.

"I-I… Nothing I guess… I just want.. a new partner.."

"Sorry, Ms. Fields, but no. You should get to know her. She's nice. She's quiet. I've never really seen her with people. Try to make it work." he says handing her two worksheets.

_I do know her. That's the problem. That's why nobody's ever around her. She's anything, but nice and quiet._

Emily huffs as she makes her way back to her seat. She tries to fake a smile as she places Alison's worksheet on her desk before sitting.

"So.. how've you been?" Emily fumbles nervously as she avoids eye contact with Alison.

"D-don't.. you don't need to do that… Let's just get our work done… please." Alison says in almost a whisper.

"Oh… okay." Emily says giving a slight nod before she begins filling out her worksheet.

"Wow, Hanna. You managed to almost get detention on the first day?" Spencer laughs as she crunches on a cracker.

"The kid shouldn't have sat on me. It was totally uncalled for."

The lunch table falls into a comfortable silence only being interrupted by crunches on crackers and pizza crusts. Emily slams her trey down on the table as she joins the others.

"Oh wow… Bad day already?" Aria asks with much concern.

"Yes. I got partnered with Alison DiLaurentis in chemistry."

"Oh dear god, you poor soul. Can't you get another partner?" Spencer questions.

"No. She's nice and quiet. Mr. Gordon thinks it'll be nice for me to make friends with her." Emily mimics her chemistry teacher's voice.

The table erupts with laughter.

"Nice? He obviously doesn't know the real Alison." Aria laughs trying not to choke on her lunch.

A loud crash across the courtyard draws the girl's attention away from there moment.

"Oh.. It's just Noel and his Neanderthal buddies.." Spencer rolls her eyes as she goes back to her lunch.

Before Emily turns away from the spectacle l, she notices Alison sitting alone at a table. She looks unsettled, almost nervous. She winces at another loud crash coming from the boys behind her before she picks up her trey and goes back into the lunchroom.

"Em," Hanna snaps her out of her daze, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Most definitely." Emily offers a close lipped smile before reengaging herself in the group discussion.

Emily walks into her front door to be greeted by her mom coming out of the kitchen.

"So… how did it go?" the shorter Fields woman asks with a smile on her face.

"Exhausting… Strange…"

Pam's expression false. "What was so exhausting and strange?"

"Well… for starters, I got partnered with Alison DiLaurentis in chemistry.." Emily exhales agitatedly.

"Oh… Well. I don't know how to help you…"

There's a brief moment of silence before Pam speaks again.

"You know.. You never told me why you guys stopped talking to her." Mrs. Fields pauses awaiting a response.

The conversation isn't going in any direction that Emily wants it to, so she puts a stop to it quickly.

"Umm.. yeah, like I've told you a million times, we just grew apart from her. We were interested in different things. Things that Alison didn't like." Emily urges while a cookie from her mom's plate and offering a smile. "I have homework to do so, I'm going upstairs now."

Emily bounds up the stairs with her cookie in between her teeth. She plops down on her bed, laying her head on her pillow. She stares at the ceiling while thinking for what feels like hours. She grunts as she rolls over towards her night stand before she opens the drawer. She reaches inside and pulls out a little photo album. She flips through the book of photos, all of them either Alison or her and Alison together.

"I miss you so much." She whispers as she wipes a tear from her cheek.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the first real chapter of Shattered :) Leave a review to let me know what you think. It'd be much appreciated!**


	3. Hurt

**Graphic content. Proceed with caution.**

* * *

_Alison is sitting at her desk doing homework when she is interrupted by the beginning of one of her parents, arguments. She rolls her eyes at the ruckus as she reaches for her cell phone. She's not going to be able to concentrate through the yelling._

_To Spencer:_

_Hey, Spence. My parents are at it again. Mind if I come over to do my homework in piece?_

_From Spencer:_

_Of course. Any idea about what this time?_

_To Spencer:_

_Nope, but it's probably something stupid like always…. Be over in a sec :)_

_Alison starts collecting her books when she hears glass shatters. She drops her books in shock. Her parents' fights never go past arguing. She shoots out of her room panicked not knowing what was going on._

_"Dad, where are you?" Alison asks as her father storms past her towards the front door._

_"Ken.. wait." Jessica follows closely behind him._

_Alison moves from her spot on the stairs to the living room with her parents who seem to be completely oblivious to her presences._

_"Ken stop, please!"_

_"This is the last straw Jessica! I've had with you and your affairs! It's been the same thing over and over for years. Since before Jason was born! I'm done, Jessica. You'll receive divorce papers in about a week."_

_Alison doesn't understand what's just happened. She begins to have a melt down._

_"Dad.. Daddy, wait! Don't leave." she pleas as she grabs his arm._

_Ken turns around and cups his daughter's cheek. He holds in a sob when a tear falls from her blue eyes._

_"I'm so.. so sorry, Al… I just can't do this anymore." he breathes brushing a tear away from her cheek with his thumb._

_He places a kiss in the middle of Alison's forehead before making eye contact with Jessica. He grimaces in disgust at his soon to be ex-wife before he walks out of the front door._

* * *

"Don't leave me!" Alison cries as she wakes herself from her sleep.

This dream… well nightmare, is a recurring one. The day her dad left was the day Alison's life changed for the worst. Alison sighs as she rolls over to look at her clock.

"3:26…" she whispers to herself.

She peels the comforter and sheet from her body before she places her feet on the cold. She's not going to be able to get back to sleep. Ali moves from her bed and quietly opens her door before peaking out into the hall. She tip toes past her mom and stepdad's room to the kitchen.

"What are you doing out of your room." A dark voice rings from the living room as she passes through.

"I… I wanted some water.. I couldn't sleep and I got thirsty."

There's silence.

"Is Mom home?" Alison questions while tugging at the sleeve of her night shirt.

The dark figure stands from his seat on the couch and moves towards Alison. Alison backs away, but he grabs her before she can get too far away. He towers over her, looking in her eyes. There's nothing but fear in them and a sick grin spreads across his face. He smiles because he enjoys it, the fear, that he causes to rise within Alison. She tries to wiggle her way out of his grip, but it only tightens. His grin turns into a full blown laugh. Ali smells the stench of beer fall from his lips

"Have you been drinking?" her voice shakes.

He doesn't respond. He just slings her to the floor.

"Please don't…" she begs, scrambling backwards.

"Are you gonna crawl like the little bitch you are?" he laughs sadistically.

Alison braces herself because she knows what comes next. The impact. Alison tries to hold in her screams as the kicking continues because she knows it's only going to make it worst. It's like her pain is his fuel. He draws back his foot again, but he stops before he swings it forward into Alison's stomach. He bends down next to Alison's face.

"Are you ok?" he asks sounding genuinely concerned.

Alison manages to whimper a small "mhmm" as he brushes his thumb across her tear stained cheek. But as suddenly as he changed from raging to caring, he's back to raging and offers an inhumanly hard blow to her stomach before he stumbles up the stairs leaving Ali writhing in pain and breathless on the floor.

After the pain subsides a little, she drags herself to the restroom. She stares at herself in the mirror before she splashes water on her face. Alison slowly lifts her night shirt over her head, hissing at the pain that shoots through her body as she stretches her arms upwards. Her top is left completely bare, with the exception of her bra, exposing her badly bruised torso. She starts to cry, but quickly tries to control it because her heaving chest is only adding to the pain. Alison removes the rest of he clothes and steps into the shower, where she let's the warm water consume her completely.

"We're starting outside project today. You and your partner will be required to meet up at one of your houses to finish this project." Gordon shouts over his abnormally rowdy class. Take an instructional sheet. This class period, today, will be you and your partner discussing which elements your presentation will be on."

Alison is late.. again. Emily blows a puff of air as she reaches for her cell phone. Scrolling through her contacts looking for someone to text, but she doesn't see anybody she really wants to talk to. She sighs and starts to doodle in her chem notebook.

"Does she hate me this much? Is she skipping class because she really doesn't want to be around me?" Emily questions herself as Alison enters the classroom.

She watches as Alison exchanges her pass with the teacher and heads towards her seat.

"So… we have an outside project about some elements or something.." Emily wiggles in her seat uncomfortably. "We have to decide where we're gonna do it.. Is your house…."

"Uhh, we can't do it at my house. My mom has been super busy and I don't want to get in her way." Alison pipes as she stiffly turns in the brunette's direction.

"Well, I guess will have to do it at my house.. How about Thursday?"

"That's fine."

That's the longest conversation she's had with Alison since the summer before sophomore year. Granted it's still awkward, but maybe one day this could lead to them being friends again.

"So, Em. How's chem going with the lab partner from hell?" Hanna chuckles while picking at her salad.

"Well, she hasn't chewed my head off, so I guess that's a good thing." Emily shrugs. "We have an outside of school project due at the end of next week, so I have the luxury of spending quality time with that bitch."

Emily swallowed her food and lowered her gaze from her friends to her hands. She hates calling Alison a bitch. She doesn't like talking bad about her either. It's just when they drifted apart, the other girls would chastise her for thinking good of Alison or wanting to make amends with her. After awhile she just gave in to the Ali bashing even though it made her feel like a terrible person.

"So when are you going to tangle with the beast?" Aria laughs.

"Um, Thursday." Emily notices as the blonde walks across the courtyard into the lunchroom. "I'll be back."

Emily rushes after Alison and stops her as she reaches her locker.

"What do want?" Alison asks, but not in a harsh way… more of an indifferent way.

"I forgot to get your number in chem.. It'd be smart if we exchanged contact info seeing as how we have to work together outside of school…"

Alison nods as she reaches into her bag and grabs her cell phone. Her and Emily exchange numbers and soon switch their phones back.

"Thanks, Ali… Alison."

Alison acknowledges her thanks with a nod and an awkward smile before she shuts her locker and walks away.

* * *

**What'd you guys think? Heavy? I know. Sad? Hella. I felt like a monster writing this :(**

**On another note, I've decided that I'm going to try to update twice a week on Mondays and Thurdays. If I don't update twice in one week, it'll be at least once on either Monday or Thursday.**


	4. Awkward

_"God, I'm getting bored with this crap!" Alison gripes tossing her math notebook onto the floor._

_"I am, too." Em laughs, "but we must keep working because if we stop now, I know it's not gonna get done."_

_Alison groans rolling over closer to Emily. The brunette laughs at Alison's adorable plea for her attention. She really enjoys feeling the blonde tucked into her side._

_"Come here." Alison demands as she sits up from her lying position on Emily's bed._

_Emily caves into Alison's request. No matter how hard she tries she can't deny Alison anything._

_"I want to braid your hair." She says with her blue eyes shining._

_Emily takes a minute to appreciate the gorgeous oceans. They are so full of hope and happiness. They send shivers through her. They never cease to amaze Emily._

_"Okay." She relents with a smile._

_Alison begins running her fingers through the thick, brunette hair. The blonde's finger tips ever so slightly dance across Emily's scalp. Emily smiles to herself at the pleasurable strokes. Her eyes fall shut._

_Emily emits a moan that she's pretty sure she's been trying hard not to let go. She jumps up from her spot in front of Alison._

_"I, uh.." _

_Emily takes small steps backwards until she hits her desk. She looks at Alison trying to read her, but she can't quite decipher it._

_"What's wrong, Em? Don't you want me to braid your hair?"_

_Emily did want Ali to braid her hair. It's just that. Em has recently been having… feelings whenever Ali even touches her in the slightest. She hasn't told anybody, not the girls or Alison. She's scared really. She doesn't want Alison to leave her. It'd destroy her._

_"Uh.. no. I think we should finish our homework….. I have to go to pee. I'll be back." Emily says excusing herself from her bedroom._

_Emily stares at herself in the mirror. She wonders to herself what's wrong with her. Why are these feelings happening? She stands there for what seems to be an eternity before she snaps herself out of the trance._

_"Em. Tell me what's wrong, please. You've been really distant lately. You used to tell me everything." Alison pleas when Emily reenters the room._

_Emily's caught of guard. All she can do is stutter trying to form a sentence. Her body over heats from her nervousness. And when Ali approaches her and reaches for her hand, Emily thinks she might die from a heart attack right there._

_"Please.." Alison sings brushing her thumb over the back of the brunette's hand._

_Emily doesn't know what to do. Alison is touching her again, prohibiting her thinking straight. She panics. Emily grabs Alison faces and smashes their lips together. Alison surprises Emily by reciprocating by moving her lips against hers._

_"I'm s-sorry." Em says with tears in her eyes as she breaks the kiss. "I don't know what I was thinking."_

_Alison avoids eye contact with her. "Maybe we should finish our homework now…"_

* * *

**Preparing for Alison to go over Emily's house for the first time in forever (I totally sang that as I typed that).. This was supposed to be up last night, but my mother was not being very cooperative.. Leave a review, please! I enjoy interacting with you guys :)  
**


	5. Begin Again

"Ugh!" Emily let's out a frustrated groan as her alarm clock wails.

It's Thursday. She's been dreading this day all week. Today is going to be really awkward, especially since Alison hadn't said a word to her since Tuesday when they exchanged numbers in front of Ali's locker.

She rolls herself from her bed and hit the floor with a thud. She lies there for a moment trapped in her thoughts, but is interrupted by her mom.

"Knock, knock! You awake?" her mom asks as she peeks into the room. "Quit these shenanigans and get ready for school."

"I don't want to.. I feel sick. Maybe I should stay home today?" she moans and fakes a cough afterwards.

Pam shoots her a playfully disapproving look as she makes her way further into her daughter's room and kneels beside her.

"You don't feel hot, Emily. You're going to school. You have a major project due next week."

Pam stands and attempts to leave, but is almost tripped up when Emily wraps her arms around her leg.

"Jesus, Emily!"

"Pleeeaase! I'm begging you!" she says overdramatically.

Pam shacks her head as she kicks her legs free.

"Nope!" she pops. "Get up."

"Wow." Emily laughs quietly to herself as Pam leaves her room cackling like a witch.

Emily's first two classes of the day go by relatively quickly, as she expected, but when the bell rang for third period, Emily's stomach sank.

"Well today's the day, huh?" Aria says startling Emily.

"Unfortunately." Emily says sourly.

Aria nods in acknowledgement.

"Well, have a good chem class…" Aria says as they split ways.

"I'll try." The brunette mutters to herself as she enters the chemistry lab.

Much to her surprise, today was a lecture day. She wasn't sad about it, but she was too happy about it either. She actually wanted to have some interaction with Alison before the deadly meeting at her house later.

She thought about approaching her at the end of class, but decides against it because when the bell rings for fourth period, Alison disappears out of the classroom like her life depended on her getting to her fourth block early.

The rest of Emily's day is a giant blur. All she can think about is Alison coming over later today. Even if it is just for a project, Emily's glad to have Alison back in her life… even if it isn't in the same way as it was before.

As soon as the bell rings signaling the end of last period, Emily is in her car. She's never driven so fast in her life. She gets home to straighten up. Why she wants things to be perfect, she knows why, but she doesn't understand it. She hasn't talked to Alison in to years. Why is impressing Alison so important?

Emily paces back and forth across the living room whi1e her mom is in the kitchen making snacks. This is the first time that Alison has been over her house in forever and she doesn't know how to act. The doorbell rings.

"Jesus take the wheel.." Emily mutters to herself as she makes her way towards the front door.

She braces herself as she grips the handle to the front door.

"Hi…" she tries to sound inviting.

"Hello."

"Come in, please." Emily steps to the side making a path for Alison to enter.

Slowly, Alison creeps into the house, taking in the living room that hasn't changed a bit since the last time she'd been here.

"Hi, Alison." Pam greets.

"Uhh… Hi, Mrs. Fields." The blonde says wiggling uncomfortably in her shoes.

Pam, out of habit, walks up and encases her in a hug.

"I've missed seeing you around here."

Emily shoots her mother a look of annoyance.

"Would you girls like a snack?" Mrs. Fields offers.

Emily looks to Alison for an answer. "Uhh.. No thank you.. at least not right now." She says with a small smile.

"Ok.. I'll let you two get to your project, then."

"We're working in my room.. if that's ok with you.."

"Uhh, yeah. Yeah, totally." She hesitantly agrees.

Alison awkwardly follows Emily to her room while looking around taking in the house she once new like the back of her hand. When they finally reach the room, Emily throws her bag next to her chair as she sat in her desk chair while Alison stands in the doorway looking around at the familiar, but strangely unfamiliar place.

"You can sit.. if you want." The brunette says while she points to her bed.

Alison only nods as she slowly makes her way towards the bed. Emily turns to her desk and grabs her laptop.

"So, have you given any thought to what elements you want to research?" Emily ask as she turns back around towards Ali.

"No." she says meekly as she avoiding Emily's gaze.

Emily opens her laptop and sits it next to where Alison sits. Ali scoots away from Emily a little.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to invade your bubble." The brunette giggles nervously trying to break the tension.

Alison only shakes her head in response. Silence falls over the room. The only noise, which is barely audible, is the hum of the laptop. Emily finds it unbearable, painful even.

"Ok… I can't keep doing this. We.. can't keep doing this." Emily interrupts the silence.

Alison looks shocked at Emily's abrupt

"What are you talking about?"

"This," Emily motions between them, "I know we haven't had the best history, but this needs to stop… Especially if we want to pass chemistry."

A beat passes. "You- you're right.."

Emily nods with a smile feeling satisfied with herself before reaching her hand out towards Alison's.

"Hi, I'm Emily Fields." She says with a smile.

"What are you doing?" Alison says clearly amused with Emily's antics.

"I'm introducing myself." She states matter of factly.

"Hi.. I'm Alison DiLaurentis, but you… you ca call me Ali." The blonde laughs.

The sound of her laugh makes Emily's heart soar. It's been ages sense she's heard the beauty that is Alison laugh.

"Nice to meet you, Ali. Do you want to work on our project now?" Em asks.

"Sure."

They work diligently for the next hour. The time flies by to Emily, who spends most of her time sneaking glances at Alison while she works. She misses this. She really, really does.

"Okay. We've gotten a good bit done. Can we take a snack break?" Alison asks as she stretches her arms above her head.

"Whoa.. That's a gnarly bruise. What happened?" Emily questions.

Alison snatches her arms back down before Emily can see to what extent the bruise actually reached.

"Roughhousing. You know Jason." Alison adjusts her shirt.

"Well, geez, that's a little much… What the hell where you guys doing, jumping from bui…"

"What about those snacks?" she interrupts trying to change the subject.

"Ah right.. Come on."

"How's the project coming along?" Pam questions as the girls come down the stairs.

Alison's phone vibrates in her hand as she hits the last step.

"Good." Emily answers with a sigh of relief.

The brunette walks pass her mom and to the refrigerator. "So, what do you want to snack on?" she asks.

"Well.. Actually, I can't stay any longer." Alison demeanor has completely changed from what it was a moment ago.

Emily's smile disappears. "Oh.. Did your mom want you home?"

"Mhmm" Alison nods.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Of course." Alison replies. "It was good to see you Mrs. Fields."

"Same to you." Pam says hugging the blonde.

"See you tomorrow, Em.. Emily."

"Tomorrow." Emily shuts the door trying to hide the fact that she is upset by Alison's abrupt departure.

Alison quietly opens her front door and tip toes inside.

"Where the hell have you been?!" an angry voice rings from the living room.

"I-I had to work on a project for school. It's only 6 o'clock. I'm not late." She stutters, but her excuse only infuriates him.

It's a blur. A big, dark, angry blur.

The next day Emily sits in third period waiting for Alison to show up, but she never does.

* * *

**There might not be an update Thursday. I have AMEA, an important band performance, on Thursday and won't be home until late. I'll try my best to have one up though. :)**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Am I executing the story well, because I don't feel like I am.. Is it mediocre? What can I do better? Leave a review, please. I'm not feeling too confident with my writing "/  
**


	6. Stuck

**AN UPDATE FINALLY!**

* * *

Alison is lying in her bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin trying to conceal her bruises from her mom.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay, honey?" her mom asks as she fills Alison forehead.

She nods in response.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital. It could be the flu."

"I'm fine, Mom. I just need fluids and to rest." She reassured the older woman.

Jessica places kiss on Alison's head. "Okay. You'll call me if you need me?"

"I promise." Ali smiles.

Alison spends most of the day limping from her bedroom to the kitchen to get frozen peas for her ankle. She hasn't told her mom about what happened the night before. She hasn't mentioned anything about what was happening to her at all. Alison fells like if she told her mom that he was abusing her, that everything would start to fall apart again.

She doesn't want to ruin her family even more than it already is. She's already lost one parent, losing another would destroy her completely. Nothing could be worse than losing both of your parents' love, right?

As Alison is closing the freezer she hears a car pull into the driveway. She checks the time on her phone and see that it's only 2:30.

"No, please. Not again." She whispers to herself as she tries her best to get back to her room before he comes inside and without injuring herself any further.

Just as she's closing her bedroom door, she's hears his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. She gets on to her hands and knees, not being able to handle the pain of her weight resting on her swollen ankle anymore. She crawls to the far side of her bed and lies down out of sight.

There's a knock at her door followed by him calling her name.

"Ali? Are you okay?" he questions as her enters her room.

He's slightly confused when he doesn't see Alison in her bed. He takes a couple more steps into her room only to find her on the floor practically under her bed.

"Uh, Alison? What the hell are you doing..?" Jason asks confused at the sight.

Alison sits up and runs her hand through her hair. She shrugs.

"What's that?" Alison points to the bag in her brother's hand.

"It's for you. Mom said that you were sick and needed something to eat. It's chicken noodle."

He reaches down and offers his hand to help her up. She willingly accepts it. When she's finally standing, she plops down on her bed. Jason hands her the bag of soup.

"Thanks." she mumbles as she opens the bag.

"Welcome.. Uh, Mom said that you should be sleeping…"

"I know. I'll go when I'm finished eating." She says as she pops the lid off of the container of soup.

Jason rolls his eyes. "Fine. I have a short lunch break. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Mhmm." The blonde mumbles with her cheeks are full of soup.

It doesn't exactly sit well with Emily that Alison hadn't come to school today. She spends the rest of her day after chemistry zoning in and out of her classes thinking about the blonde.

As she walks down the hall to her locker after last period, her mind is still preoccupied. She doesn't notice that Hanna has been walking right beside her talking since she walked out of the classroom.

".. And that's the story of how I once gave birth to a porcupine."

"What the hell..?" Emily scrunches her face in confusion.

"Exactly. You've been spacing all day. Do you even remember that we're supposed to be going over Spencer's like as soon as we leave here?"

_Nope_. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course."

Hanna rolls her eyes at her friend's obvious lie. They walk in silence for a few seconds before she breaks the silence again.

"Ok, Em. Cut the crap. What's on your mind?"

A beat passes before Hanna has a moment of realization. "Alison was over your house yesterday."

Emily tries to play it off like that's not what's bothering her.

"Well…."

"Guys, wait up!" Aria yells as her short legs struggle to carry her to her friends.

Emily let's out a light sigh of relief at Aria's interjection. She knows that it doesn't go unnoticed by Hanna and she's well aware that sooner rather than later she's going to get bombarded with questions from, not only the blonde, but all of the girls.

"What's the plan for tonight? What does Spencer have planned?" the tiny brunette asks when she finally reaches Hanna and Emily.

Emily drifts behind her friends as they walk to Spencer's house. Their rambling on and on about some new clothing line that's due to hit the store in a month. Emily gets lost in her thoughts, mindlessly following her friends, until she's interrupted by the sound of a heavy door closing.

"Whoa… It's been forever since I've seen him." Hanna says in amazement at the sight of Jason DiLaurentis.

They didn't see much of him when they were friends with Alison but after they fell apart, they'd never seen him at all. Occasionally, they'd seen Alison in her yard or in her bedroom when they'd be over Spencer's, but Jason? Never. They've always assumed that he was up to no good seeing as how Alison spent most of her time complaining about how he was always either smoking pot or drinking.

He walks to his car that sits in the driveway seemingly oblivious to the group of curious teenage girls standing a few feet away. Hanna, being the indescribable person that she is, purposefully coughs to bring attention to them.

He stops as he's reaching for the car door and looks towards the girls. They shrink back as a chorus of gasps escape their lips as if he's going to attack them.

"Boo!"

Not knowing what to do, the girls turn and scurry off behind the Hastings' front gate. Jason laughs to himself as he recedes into his car and disappears down the street.

"What the hell was that?" Aria questions as she and the others enter Spencer's room.

"I have no idea, but he's a fuckin' weirdo.. How have you lived next door to him and his crazy ass sister all these years?" Hanna asks.

"They don't cause any trouble.. It's actually very rarely you see them leave or their parents either."

Emily sits in the big red chair that sits by the window looking down into the backyard while the conversation progresses.

"Parents? I thought their dad left.. Did Ms. D get remarries or something?" Aria wonders slightly baffled.

Spencer nods. "Uh, yeah.. Some guy that nobody in the neighborhood really knows anything about.."

"Ah.."

"Em.." Hanna says snapping the brunette out of her trance. "Since we're on the subject.. What happened yesterday? You know when she came over….? Did she say anything about her family?"

Emily tries to avoid eye contact with all of the other girls. Nothing embarrassing happened when Alison was over her house, she just doesn't want to give the others anything ammo against Ali.

"Come on, Emily.." Aria nudges playfully.

"No. We worked on our project. She wasn't a bitch. She wasn't.. I don't know! What are you guys looking for me to say?!"

"Geez, calm down, Em! We're just curious. We want to know what she's like now…" Hanna throws her hands up in defense.

"Well, I don't know.. what she's like now. It was all work.. And that's how I want it to stay." _Lie._

Emily looks away from her friends' stares and plays with the sleeve of her Rosewood Sharks hoodie.

"I-I'm not interested in getting to know her again. And I'm not going to try just so you guys'll have something to talk about."

The room remains quiet for a moment before Spencer moves towards her bedroom door. "You guys want snacks?"

Hanna follows, then Aria, but Emily stays for a bit longer while she tries to compose herself.

Emily stands stagnant for a moment thinking to herself.

_Why is she still able to get me to defend her even though we haven't talked in years?_

Emily can for the life of her figure out why or even how Alison was able to establish this hold on her and has been able to maintain it all this time.

"Em, Hanna's going to eat your share of cookies if you don't hurry up!" Spencer yells.

Before she turns around towards the door to go join the others, a flash of blonde hair catches her eye as it flows past the window across the way. Emily smiles to herself. _Alison._

* * *

**I'd like to apologize about taking so long to update... Second semester started and all of my teachers decided that they all wanted to lose their minds -_- Hope you enjoyed! It's going to start getting a lot darker from here :/ Tell me what you think by leaving a review! It helps a lot :)  
**


	7. A Slight Relief

**Whoo, UPDATE! :)**

* * *

_What is there to do when you find yourself still in in love with your ex best friend? Though you barely even know her anymore, you still harbor so many unsaid feelings for her? When you still imagine what life would be like if she'd be yours and you were hers for eternity... _

Emily stares into the mirror brushing her hair while she contemplates these ideas, thinking about how much she's still in love with Alison. Even though it's been years and the only interactions they've had recently has been school related, she hopes that there still a chance for their happily ever after.

_A nice, cozy life with the love of your life. Endless cuddles and kiss. And just being able to look at her non stop for endless amounts of time. Being able to tell her you love her as many times a day and spending the rest of your life showing her just how much you do._

To be able to freely love Alison is all she's ever wanted since the first day they'd met each other, but Emily never told her that out loud. She's never even said it out loud to just herself. She has kissed Alison before and assumed that she understood what it meant, but never verbalized it. It honestly scares her. Always has.

She thinks of how her parents would react if they knew. Pam and Wayne are incredibly religious and she thinks they'll disown her and that just might scare her more than telling them, or anyone for that matter. Her parents are the most important people to her and it'd kill her to see them disappointed in her.

_God, you're so in love with her, it hurts, and all you want to do is love her. You can't, though, because you love your parents just as much. They've done everything for you and you can't let them down... But you want to be happy. Why me?_

Emily is broken from her world of sullen confusion when her mom knocks on the bathroom door and it's too late to wipe away the stream of tears that have trickled down her face.

"Emily, sweetie, hurry, please. You have to eat something before you head to school." Pam says as she opens the door.

"Kay, Mom. Almost finished." the younger brunette says with her face turned away from the open door.

Noticing her daughter's odd aura, "Are you okay, Hun?"

Emily nods and tries smiles weakly. Rubbing small, comforting circles in the middle of her child's back, Pam frowns at Emily's obvious distress.

"Emily... You know I'm always here, right? You can tell me anything."

Emily wipes the tears from her face while trying to come up with a lie.

"It's nothing. I, uh.. Hanna and I got into an argument the other day and we really haven't spoken since.." Emily forces a small, sad smile.

"Are you sure?"

She nods. "I'll be down in a few."

Hanna walks down the hallway towards her first period class when she sees Emily gently pushing her way through a crowd of obnoxious boys blocking the entrance of the school

"You okay" she asks noticing Emily's distress by the look on her face.

"I'm fine." is all she gets from her friend.

"Are you sure?" she prods gently growing more and more concerned with Emily's behavior.

Before Emily utters another word, the tardy bell ringers for first. Emily makes her break from Hanna without even wishing her a good day, which is unusual for Emily not to do.

Ever since Alison has made a reappearance in Emily's life,, even though it's very little, there's been a noticeable change in Emily. She spaces out, a lot, during conversations, she rarely eats lunch with them anymore, and when she is actively engaged in a conversation with them , she only gives brief opinions on whatever they're talking about, even if it's something like swimming.

"Guys, there's something wrong with Em." Hanna states as Aria and Spencer sit down with their lunches.

"I know. She has been really distant lately." Aria says opening her pudding.

"I've never seen her like this before. She usual is all bright eyed and bushy tailed no matter what's going on." Hanna quips.

"And if there's something bothering her, she'll come to one of us.. I wonder what's wrong."

The table falls into a comfortable silence as Spencer stables at what she thinks is supposed to be beef stroganoff, Aria enjoys her pudding cup, and Hanna multitasks between eating her cheese stick and texting.

"Well, maybe, we can do something together this weekend, ya know, make a comfortable situation for her to talk about whatever's bothering her." Aria suggests.

"Yeah," Spencer agrees, "How about we have a girls weekend at my place? We can use the barn.. Melissa's in London, so I have free reign on it."

"Sounds like a plan." Aria says.

"Now.. We have to find Emily and get her to agree to come..." Hanna says chewing on the inside of her bottom lip.

"Has anybody seen her?"

"Nope... We'll find her somewhere before school's out." Aria assures with a smile.

Emily lowers herself into the cool pool water, smiling as she inhales the smell of chlorine. Swimming is her escape, what she turns to when she needs to clear her head or when she feels like she can't talk to anybody. She from one side to another slowly every so often stopping to take a breath and to regroup her thoughts.

She continues her meditation peacefully completely unaware that there was someone watching her. As she comes up to regroup, she's startled at the sight of the tiny brunette sitting at the edge of the pool with a small smile on her face.

"Geez, Aria... You scared me, you creep!" Emily laughs.

"There's that smile we all know and love." Aria giggles.

Emily looks confused for a second before Aria clarifies.

"Oh. I meant that me and the girls have noticed that you've been kinda down in the dumps lately. We're worried about you, Em."

"I'm fine Aria. Really. Just stressed about school and home. I'll be fine."

Aria doesn't buy it. "We're having a little get together at Spencer's tonight. Just me, you, Hanna, and Spence-"

"Wait... Who decided that I was going?"

"You did. Well, maybe not now but you will."

Emily stares at Aria and Aria stares back at Emily.

"I don't think I'm up for hanging out tonight.." Emily says finally breaking eye contact.

Aria sighs as she brushes a piece of hair from her face. "Come on, Em, please?"

"I don't know... Maybe, I guess." she shrugs.

In a last ditch effort to get a yes from Emily, Aria puts on her best puppy dog face complete with big, wet eyes, a quivering bottom lip, and a small whimper for extra effect.

"Oh my god, yes! I will be there... Now stop looking at me like that." Emily relents with a slight smile on her lips.

"Hehehe! I knew you'd decide to come," the tiny brunette squeaks as she hops to her feet. "See you tonight!"

"Wait, what time should I be over there?"

"Seven.. Oh and bring some snacks or something with you." Aria shouts from by the exit door before running out into the hallway when the dismissal bell rings.

It's about 7:30 or so when Emily finally makes her way to Spencer's barn. She thought about calling and cancelling on the girls, which is why she's late, but she could bring herself to let them down. She hicks her overnight bag on her shoulder as she draws closer to the entrance.

"Emily!" Hanna, Aria, and Spencer shout in unison as they all jump from their spots on the floor and moved towards Emily.

"What the hell took you so long to get here?" Hanna questions as she practically tackles the poor brunette.

Emily has to catch herself and Hanna before they both go barreling towards the hard, barn floor. She can't help but laugh at her friend's playfulness, though. Hanna's always going to be her favorite goofball.

"I'm sorry.. I got caught up with my mom before I left." she laughs.

Undetected by Emily, Aria and Spencer share an enthusiastic look because it's been entirely too long since Emily has laughed with them.

"So what's on the agenda for tonight?" Emily asks as they make their way back to the pallets and bottles of alcohol.

"Well.. We'll get drunk, play games, talk about boys, get drunk some more.. the usual." Hanna giggles as she sits down between Aria and Spencer in their little circle.

It's been two hours since Emily arrived and the intoxication has hit her way worse than the others. Despite the high levels of drunkenness of herself and her friends, Spencer picks up the bottle of vodka and pours everyone yet another cup of vodka.

"I… I think," Hanna stammers over her words, "Guys, we should each tell one secret.. A secret that nobody knows, just for fun.."

The girls look around at one another contemplating the idea when, finally, Spencer agrees followed by Aria and then Emily.

"Okay, I'll go first," Aria volunteers, "What do guys want to know?"

Spencer hummed in thought before asking with a smirk, "How far have you and Jake gone?"

"Uhh… Well we've made out before… The other day in his car, I might have let his hands roam freely to… places." she says with her cheeks turning a bright red color.

"Oh my," Emily giggles as she covers her mouth with her hand, ironically imitating someone of innocence to irritate Aria while the other two girls laugh hysterically.

After the laughter and jokes subside, Aria turns to Emily and prods, "How about you next Em?"

Emily is hesitant because even though she's drunk off her ass, she has a feeling she knows what they want to know. And sure enough that's what Hanna asks.

"Is everything okay with you? You've been really distant and spacey lately."

Emily contemplates lying, but before she can restrain herself she blurts out, "I-I don't think I'm like the rest of you."

Her response takes them by surprise. There is a beat of silence before someone talks again.

"What do you mean '_not like the rest of us_'?" Spencer queries.

Emily takes a deep breath before she begins.

"I.. I feel about girls h-how you guys feel about boys.." she confesses while looking down into her almost empty cup.

That's the only way she can describe how she feels. She hasn't found the courage to say out loud that she's a lesbian. As Hanna, Spencer, and Aria all begin to move closer to Emily to comfort her, she continues on.

"There's this girl… a girl I really, really like. I've always known that I was different, but the day I meet her just confirmed it," the brunette says still avoiding looking at her friends, "I don't know it's the way she carries herself. Her smile… The way her eyes shine even when it's awful, nasty, gloomy day outside.. Her perfect, heart shaped lips.. The little crinkle she gets on her forehead when she's frustrated or confused.."

There's a few moments were Emily's description just resonates in the air. Hanna sits to her right slowly and gently rubbing up and down the tan girl's back while Aria sits to her left with her arm intertwined with Emily's and her head resting on the girl's shoulder.

"Hey, Em," the tiniest brunette breaks the silence, "you know you could've told us sooner, right? I mean, we love you. We'd do anything to support you."

Emily nods with tears in her eyes before resting her head atop Aria's.

"Do…. Do you want to tell us who she is?" Hanna asks softly not wanting to upset Emily.

She sits and thinks hard before she answers.

"N-no… Not just yet. I don't even think she's into me like that," she sniffles, "Guys I'm just.. really exhausted. Can we go to sleep?"

"Of course, Em. Goodnight." Spencer says softly leaning to give Emily a hug before climbing onto the couch that she and Aria are going to share.

It's awhile before Emily gets to sleep, but Aria, Hanna, and Spencer were out for the count soon after everyone said their goodnights. Emily can't help but feel relieved yet nervous and slightly scared. Her friends now know about her. She can only imagine what her parents' reactions would be and, hopefully, after that she'll get up the courage to finally tell Alison how she's felt about her since that day in the park.

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**I'm sorry it took so freaking long again... School has been killing me between choosing which college to attend and more stupid group projects and essays -_- But hey, graduation is slightly over two weeks away and PLL starts back in 30 days :) Please leave a review to let me know what you think.. and if you have any ideas you'd like to see incorporated into the story, don't be afraid to private message me :)**


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